For parents of older children

A death in the family is a devastating experience, and can be particularly difficult for adolescents who are also coping with the usual pressures of growing up. They may find it hard to express their emotions. You can help by listening to what they say and encouraging them to express their feelings in their own way – this may be through music, writing poetry or painting. Accept that their way of grieving may be different from yours – they may be quiet and withdrawn, or crying and screaming. Be patient if they are angry and irritable. Try to talk as a family and share your grief. Older children may want to be away from a home that is full of sadness, and may need to be alone with their thoughts or out with their friends. They may find it easier to talk to friends or someone else outside the family. Try not to be overprotective, but encourage them to go out and enjoy themselves if they want to. If one of your children has died, avoid idealising their memory, as this will make it more difficult for the brothers and sisters who are left.

If you are worried that your child might be getting depressed or feeling suicidal, ask for professional help from your doctor. PAPYRUS offers advice and support for people who are worried about young people who may be feeling suicidal.