Some suggestions to get you through a difficult time
The following are some suggestions to get you through this difficult time:
What has been helpful:
These are some comments by teenagers who have been bereaved by suicide.
- Writing a journal
- Friends who listen no matter what; who don’t pretend to understand; who knew the person who died; who have been in a similar situation; who are also grieving
- Talking to someone who knows about suicide
- People making time for me
- Rituals like memorial services
- Playing their favourite song
- Drawing a picture of the person
- Cards from friends and friends calling in
- Spending time alone in my room
- Listening to music
- Student health service
- School counsellors
What has been unhelpful:
- Study and school work pressure
- Friends who don’t understand or who are hypocritical, saying they understand when you know they don’t
- Teachers thinking they understand; being nosy putting pressure on you; being insensitive
- People asking questions; demanding answers when you don’t feel like talking; saying ‘snap out of it’; spreading rumours; always bringing it up; putting their foot in it
- Parents saying you shouldn’t cry
What you would have liked:
- Parents to chill out
- People not being scared to mention the person’s name and talk about them
What’s been the most difficult:
- Being expected to be ‘back to normal’ after a certain time, for example six months
- Being where the person who died used to live and them not being there
- Going past the place where they died
- Selling and removing their clothing and possessions
- Not being able to talk about it, because it happened a long time ago and so people don’t mention it
- Blaming myself
- Not being able to cry at home
- Having to explain why I’m crying and not wanting to talk about it – so it’s better not to cry
- Everyone supporting our parents and telling us to support them – what about us?
- Not being told the facts – the truth being kept back
- The stigma associated with suicide – people say very insensitive things, especially to do with religion
- Seeing parents cry
