Losing a brother or sister

If your brother or sister has died by suicide, you have lost someone with whom you grew up, with whom you’ve probably had fights and arguments and of whom you might have felt jealous, as well as loving and caring for them. You may feel that you should have done something to stop them taking their own life. You may also feel angry towards them for what they have done. These are common feelings.

Your parents may be so overwhelmed by their grief that they can’t help you with yours, and you might feel angry with them for not paying attention to you. Other people may concentrate on helping your parents and may overlook your needs. Try to understand your parents’ feelings and maybe find another relative or family friend to talk to.

Sometimes people idealise the person who has died and place unrealistic expectations on the remaining child or children, and you might feel a responsibility for looking after your parents. No one should expect you to take the place of the one who has died. You are a unique person with your own qualities. It can help to talk to someone who has had a similar experience.